I heard that while this blog is good at diagnosing the problem, it falls short when proposing solutions. Today I’m proposing a solution that everyone (except the haters and losers) can get behind.

We have a real problem in America, and it’s billionaires. I mean, it’s actually fiat money that the state can print arbitrary amounts of, but that’s a complicated idea, so we’ll just say it’s billionaires.

You, as an American, have the same right to be a billionaire as everyone else. You know that feeling of resentment you have when you see rich people on social media. Watch the resentment fade once we give everyone a billion dollars.


The implementation of this act would be straightforward. Americas population is 342.6 million. First, we issue new billion dollar bills and print 342.6 million of them. Then we hand them out. A beautiful thing about this bill is it gives plenty of things for the Democrats and Republicans to squabble over.

  • Should we give the billion dollars to undocumented immigrants (or illegal aliens, if you prefer)?
  • Should children get the billion? Should we hold it in a trust for them?
  • Should existing billionaires get it? They are already billionaires, this act is for the needy.
  • Should we charge tax on the billion dollars? Should TurboTax get a cut?

Let’s do an analysis, including second order effects which I know is more advanced political thinking than most politicians do, but we are a new kind of politician, the kind that wants to give you one billion dollars.

The first order effects is that everyone is rich and the rich people aren’t more rich than you. This is pure awesome. I hear that rich people love being rich, and I’m sure you will love it too. This also makes it easy to pay back the national debt.

The second order effects is that the US dollar is over, and everyone will have to switch to something else. Perhaps this time we’ll switch to something that some dude can’t just print trillions of. Like gold.


When America is ready for a revolution, this is the way to do it. A jubilee. Non violent and through one simple democratically passed bill. We do live in a democracy, right?

Don’t fall for scams like a wealth tax, that is just the elites squabbling over which seat at the large marble table they get. We are giving everyone a billion dollars so they can buy their own large marble table.

I non-ironically support this bill, and you should too. Call your congressman, let’s get it passed!